It's All a Game

Whenever my siblings and I were teasing each other mercilessly or doing something silly (and not much has changed now that we’re middle-agers) my father would say, “It’s all a game.” To him this was a reproach – as if we were wasting time and energy fooling around instead of taking life seriously (which in all honestly is what we were doing). The point was a little lost on me because I never felt I was bad to find a reason to laugh or play. Maybe I had an instinctive sense that I needed a sense of humor to survive, or maybe I sensed that play is one way, maybe the best way, to deal with the seriousness of life.

Magpie Artworks by Cheryl Smith

Lately I’ve felt the pinch of a struggling economy and a variety of financial responsibilities. Fear of losing financial security and guilt about my spending habits have often pulled my spirits down and sucked my energy away. While my wallet has been getting skinnier I’ve tried to be more responsible and make better choices. Just when it feels like I’m starting to make a little progress there’s some mini-crisis that has to be attended to: the tires need to be replaced, the washing machine breaks down or I bang my knee and need to go to the doctor – two steps forward, two steps back. It doesn’t help that this triggers childhood issues of deprivation and scarcity.

Jester Dog by Ed Heck

But I’ve noticed something else is happening in the midst of it all; there’s a little spirit of gamesmanship going on. It’s the challenge of tracking prices and watching for coupons; learning to enjoy using what I have and discovering things I’d forgotten I had. There’s a certain delight about not buying something that I don’t need or postponing the purchase of something that isn’t essential, as if I’ve foiled the spendthrift gremlin. This has gotten me thinking about my father’s words and how they apply to the “game” of life. It reminds me of children and animals at play. This is how they learn the skills of adulthood. Their behavior implies that play is the teacher; it’s the creative seed bed for productive living. If I can hold fear at bay and invite a spirit of play into the ring then I'll not only feel better but will have access to the creative resources that are a part of being human.. Fear paralyzes and blocks creative problem solving and it's no fun. Play is joyful and it's healthier: less fight and flight chemicals are circulating in the body, more endorphins. It opens us up to a well of creativity and inspiration. The jester in literature and theater is often the character that makes people see things from a different perspective, which is exactly what one needs when things look impossible. I am throwing the gauntlet down to myself (can you do that?) and trying out a spirit of play in another area of my life that is causing me some grief -- and there are so many to choose from: relationships, work, body image, health, need I go on? I'll keep you posted.

Harlequin Seated in a Cafe by Picasso

Addendum: My father was a gifted prankster himself (it's all in the genes). His mischief was very clever, creative and never did any harm. My hunch is that even as he frowned on our "games" he was actually enjoying it - he just couldn't let on. Thanks, Dad for your spirit of play.